Unpleasant phone calls.

So I'm sure we have all gotten this call:

"Hello Kristopher Robin Ludwig, this is Agent Daniels from the FBI field office in Jacksonville."
  "HaHa,pretty funny Farris."
"Sir,I assure you this is the FBI. Call me back at this number." Click.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.....
(Brrrring) "This is Agent Daniels."
"Okay okay,I can explain everything!"
"I haven't asked you anything."
"I'm taking a wild guess and bet you want to know about a phone message I left on an answering machine about material and payment and some violent subcontractors." "Yes in light of all that has happened we are following any leads."

My phone had been cloned twice that year. It got so bad I would turn it off when I got anywhere near NYC. I received an $800 phone bill in June for hundreds of calls to Bolivia and Columbia. I would get calls in the middle of the night from people yammering away in Spanish. Shit cloned again.
In August I got a call from some guy speaking Dutch. He left a voice message which I took to mean oh boy another round of fighting with Verizon. So I called the number back with the intention of giving him a good ol' profanity laded outburst. His answering machine had a robot voice speaking Dutch so I decided to give this hacker something to worry about. He cloned the wrong phone....

"Where the fuck were you? We have the material. Where the fuck is our money? You can't just not show up for a drop. These associates are not agreeable when you piss them off. Now they want an extra $10,000 or they keep the material and liquidate everyone on this side. What the fuck were you thinking? These people have no regard for anything but their cause. Tomorrow you had better show up or we're all dead." I never heard back from him.
In September...well we all know what happened on 9/11.
In early October I got the call from Agent Daniels.
"I'm so sorry for wasting your time and resources but I swear I was just trying to scare a phone hacker."
"We know. What was that voice you used, Boris Badenov?"
"Yes! I love Bullwinkle."
"Yeah, me too. I guess we are going to write this one off to really bad timing eh, Kris?"
  "So we're cool right? You don't think I'm a terrorist?"
  "We know who you are. By our records you are not dangerous."
Ay caramba, nice to know I have a dossier.