Anatomy of a murder part 1.

They aren’t going to stop crying. The kitchen is cluttered with the dishes of a day frozen. Each of the sister’s breath is on hold, choked in their tight throats horse from so much wailing and shouting. Eyes are swollen from too many tears and an unbearable truth. It’s Prin’s cries that upset me the most. The three sisters have been weeping all day. My girlfriend D’s cries have settled to a low moan. Val sniffles with her head down nodding no no no. But it is Prin’s cry that won’t subside nor her fierce wild stare she is throwing at her husband. "What are we going to do?" She is pleading to the room, the walls, the space that seems to have been fragmented between us all leaving a jagged reality separating us, banished to our own islands of panic and shame. What do we do? For the last few hours since we heard the news their mother was severely injured but still alive and going to make it this question has been asked , pleaded, screamed. Prin is furious but can’t decide at who, so she is tearing at herself. "How can she go back to that son of a bitch? He almost killed her!" I can see in her eyes she hates her mother for being with Tony let alone letting him beat her to a pulp and then taking him back? Too much. Tony had lost it. He was a mean man who succeeded in separating Berta from her daughters except for the youngest who lived with them. Once he had the two alone he began to terrorize the child and brutalize the mother. He had no fear of any of us. This day started with a call from the hospital informing Prin that her mother was in stable condition but in tremendous pain. Apparently she had been mugged. Prin knew it was Tony and in a rage called her sisters. We gathered in the small apartment Prin and her husband Ern shared with Val. D was flush with anger and called Tony demanding to know what happened. It was then that the panic struck. Young, good people are ill equipped to deal with evil. To watch innocence leave the face of my love was one of the most unbearable visions of my life. She dropped the phone and fell back into a chair. Val picked up the phone and screamed " what the fuck do you have to say for your self?". She too blinked unbelieving and hung up. "He says he’s going to rape me and kill me". D. nods and says "me too. He says he’s going to kill us all." Ern calls the police who are annoyed and belligerent saying unless you have the threats on tape don’t call back and without the mother pressing charges there is no crime. It’s been hours and even Prin is beginning to crack saying over and over " what can we do." I can’t stand it. I walk outside into the late afternoon and the clarity of being outdoors offers a cool solution. I’m going to kill him. Not a tense dramatic epiphany rather a calm necessary choice. I don’t feel dreamy or nervous and can’t think of any reason for going back into the house with nothing to offer my family for consoling. Ern sees me get into my truck and runs out "Hey man where you going?" I smile wanly at him and he says "Well then I’m going too". I ask him "can you think of any other way?" "Nope". "Ern, I don’t care if I get caught. 7 years is worth killing this fuck. You have a lot to lose." "Well then, I guess we aren’t getting caught." I check my pistol and start up the truck for the cross town drive.

The most dangerous word in the English language

It has filled the ovens, and then the trenches that buried the truth. It has sharpened the machetes, and glazed the eyes from the horror. It helped tie the young man to the fence and provoked fist to kill. It marginalizes any debate. It demeans any attribute. It denies all accomplishments. Dismisses Humanity. The most dangerous word in the English language and its derivatives? THEY. THEM. THOSE. Be careful how you wield these words because WE have to live together.

Superman Vs the Supercenter.

I don't know who asks these survey questions in the first place but I was disturbed by a bit of poo that got on me as I walked by a T.V. that was on at work. Americans were asked what one icon epitomizes America. Survey says.... Walmart. And we pick on the French. They have great food. Exquisite wine. The best Footballers on the planet and they take the month of August off for vacation. The Louvre, Paris, Marseille and a language in which you can say "hey honey, I think the milk is bad" and it sounds like a sweet invitation into the boudoir. And we have Walmart!!! The evil empire that is Walmart has single handedly destroyed more small towns by suffocating the small stores that once thrived in the squares and main streets. How very ironic that we choose this generic cut throat corporation as our nation's icon. I'd take God damned Disney over Walmart. No I take that back.... I'm still pissed at them ruining Florida and turning "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" into a happy musical. BASTARDS!!! Come on. Just off the top of my sleep deprived head some icons: The Statue of Liberty (Another French connection) The Grand Canyon. New Orleans. Minor league Baseball. Jazz. Somewhere Studs Terkel is turning over in his grave along with Woody Guthrie. This week Stetson Kennedy turns 93. He was a civil and human rights activist back when those kind of activities could get your head blown off. He infiltrated the Klan and gathered evidence of crimes only to be turned away by state prosecutors and the F.B.I. So he turned to the writers of the radio program "Superman" and gave them code words and plots used by the Klan in order to expose their secret world. To me if I had to choose an iconic figure that symbolizes the strength and heart of America I might just choose this warm and brave old man from North Florida who has lived his life in defense of all our rights. Happy birthday superman.

Grifters and the real deal.

"Never give a sucker an even break". W.C. Fields. It takes a special breed to pass off bullshit as the real deal. The long con takes a cold heart and a sweet tongue and an immunity to the guilt that comes with lying. Most politicians are blessed with these skills. I met a new store owner in Troy Al. who tried to run a line on me that made me think to myself, "Do I look stupid to you?" She is opening a Health food store on the main square of Troy. It is a wonderful old square with a green in the middle with tiny shops all around. Her store is next to a guitar and fiddle shop and a boutique that sells hand made clothes. Pretty good location i said to her but she rolled her eyes and said that she was sure the fiddle shop was going to bring in "droves" of customers. I told her fiddlers bring good luck but she didn't believe me. She is going to sell mainly supplements because she said everyone knows healthy food tastes like crap. Odd attitude for a health food dealer to have. She went on to say that she had a machine that could tell anyone what was ailing them and what vital and expensive as hell supplements, vitamins and minerals they were needing. O.K. I bit, "What kind of machine do you have?" I was thinking of some ultra modern "Star Trek" kind of tricorder device that could scan your body like an M.R.I. Nope. She showed me what looked like two joy sticks from an old Atari video game. You grab on to them and they can read your electromagnetic force field and from this she can prescribe a regimen of pills to bring a body back into the fold of "wellness". She was delighted at how well the machine was for increasing her sales on supplements. The mark up on pills is phenomenal. Three times the price she pays for them. No wonder we have the most expensive health care in the world. I'm glad I was able to stop myself from calling bullshit. I knew a really fine Herbs woman a long time ago who could tell you all of the pharmacological effects a tincture of herbs could do for you. She was like a walking botanical encyclopedia and yet with all this knowledge of how to concoct a myriad of drugs she would insist that if you wanted to be healthy you had to eat good food. That's it. No wonder machine. Just eat your vegetables. Hmm... no money to be made with that attitude. We want the easy fix. The painless remedy. We are ready made marks. I have no respect for those who profit from either a gullible public or a people afraid. You can sell these folks any line of crap but common sense. I was going to go on about my last stop on the trip and tell you about a woman who freaked me out by trying to put a spell on me. But in all fairness she was not a grifter. Her religion might be the biggest rip off ever conceived but I'm sure she was honest in her faith. "In the name of Jesus I want all doubt to be cast out of this man and taken to a dry place so he may accept the Lord into his heart and know God." I'm sure she would say she was praying for me but she went into the incantation to drive the demons out of me like I was possessed. For a split second I thought about falling to the floor and trying to puke up green bile for her but in the end all I could do was smile and say "Sorry, I'm still a happy Heathen but I appreciate your concern." I wonder why I'm always being hawked either drugs or God to make my life better. I must be looking worn....probably need to eat more vegetables. I could go for some borscht come to think of it.

Fudamentally hindered.

Fundamentally hindered. For this I believe......and from this simple notion many a tangled web has been weaved and books dense enough to stun a mule have been penned. Seems like there is no shortages on THE way things are supposed to be. As a monk I tend to think of existence constantly and being unaffiliated leaves the door open to many points of view to come waltzing in, or stomping in, or flying by. I got to thinking about all this because of a bat inside the Winn/Dixie. Our grocery store is getting a makeover and in the process of construction a family of bats lost their nook (or cranny) and for a couple of days were flying all over the store. Flying mammals are about the coolest things ever!!! Who knew such wonder and marvel was perched just above our mundane shuffling to the dairy coolers. I think we barely understand what's going on in front of us let alone all that there is just outside of our senses. So I kind of doubt any fundamentalism be it religious or political. There is WAY too much going on for one answer. So to the kind folks yesterday standing on the corner and waving at me with signs guaranteeing my quick and painful condemnation to Hell.... who knows? Y'all might be right. I hope not just because it would seem to be such a cheap end to the story. I look at it this way..... We have been looking up into the night sky for millions of years and here lately thanks to those pesky scientists we can see outside of our solar system to a universe that well just seems to go on forever. And yet with all this looking about we have yet to see another planet that has life like ours. What more do you need to know? We live on a precious planet that for this moment in time is affording us the luxury of life. Maybe we should stop trying to claim everything in the name of (you fill in the blank) and get on with making this ride a good one.

The trouble with BIG.

Man is it en vogue to rail against BIG Government these days.
The way I'm hearing it all our ills as a nation comes from ham handed politicians trying to over regulate, over legislate our way of life.
The battle cry is Get BIG Government out of our lives!
And in will roll BIG Business to take the spot.

Now God knows we have way too much left over monkey shit in our DNA to be trusted in running society without some basic rules and governance lest we fall prey to the tyranny of the Alpha males.
We need Government. Hell, in America I think there is a part of the constitution that goes we are the government.
So what's wrong with Government?
Nobody likes BIG Government.
The problem is BIG.

We are a quirky mishmash of peoples and cultures thrown together in an improbable goulash. Look around, I know the U.S. is supposed to be this generic "one size fits all" kind of a culture but we are not. We are an odd lot no matter how you look at us.
And there in lies our strength.
Despite BIG Business, BIG Pharma, BIG Agriculture, BIG Government, BIG Brother, The BIG Show, we are still a Nation full of funny little people.
BIG tries to suck the humanity out of us and mold us into efficient consumers, workers, cogs in the BIG wheels of the economic engine.
We are much more vibrant when we are allowed our idiosyncrasies.
Being human is such a subtle endeavor. We will never be good machine parts no matter how hard we try. Sorry Walmart, you will never have everything we need.
The BIG picture? We need to use our little heads to solve our little problems. Life is not that hard to manage.
As for BIG Plans for a world wide domination of : Business, Government,Religion, Culture.....
Now that's just silly.

Being regular.

I'm driving along minding my own business the other day and Herman Cain comes on my radio and says first thing he'd do is get rid of the E.P.A. Really?
In the last couple of weeks I've heard proposals of doing away with the Department of Education, the F.D.A., The National Weather Service, the Federal Reserve and other banking regulatory agencies. In short The Federal Government.
Cool, we'll let business and State governments set the rules and standards for society. What could possibly go wrong?

Regulations are crippling this Country. That is a very popular clarion call being belted out across the airwaves these days.
Hell, I'm up to my chinny chin chin in regulations every time I go to work.
The Federal Government tells me I can only work 14 hours a day and 70 hours in a week so I don't fall asleep at the wheel and run over a bus full of nuns.
They also say I can only have a load weight of 80,000 lbs so I don't pulverize bridges and roads as I'm tooling around. What an assault on my freedom!!
Hang on, being a fatigued menace to society and destroyer of infrastructure is a bad thing. Oh dear, regulations good?
Let's face it even with regulations we can be devious little shits.
Business is always going to try and get away with the cheapest bottom line even if it means dumping toxins in the water or air or paying women less than men just because they can.
We are always going to try and do more than the speed limit because we need to. Screw public safety.
Fishermen will over fish, farmers will waste the soil, coal miners will be valued about as much as shovels. And this is WITH regulations!
You want to get rid of regulations and Government? It's very easy.
DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.
That's it. Not just for driving anymore. A Mantra for our times.
Regulations are like another set of physical laws to protect ourselves from our dumb ass selves. We can be pretty myopic when it comes to profits and our best interests.You don't catch a river on fire or make a Love Canal by doing the right thing.
Be sweet. Do good work. Look out for others needs and the impact of our actions on ourselves and generations to come. How hard is that?
I'm thinking we might need the regulations till we get over this whole asshole stage.
Changing Government starts with us changing our minds.